TISS Talks
August 1, 2008 at 8:36 pm 86 comments
Needle-sharp stares
from two eyes
land on these lumps of flesh
and roam freely about.
A stare. A wink. A brush. A rub. A pinch…
when uninvited IS Sexual Harassment
On the road
In the bus,
In the classroom,
they chase my step
snapping here and there.
These poison fangs
knife me.
The main gate. The canteen. Gym. Under MH2. Library. Tapri. NCH Stairs. Gym. Dining Hall.
But the earth is mine too.
I’ve taught my eyes
to stare back,
equally sharp.
Stares for stares,
that is how I wage my war now.
A public space on campus to challenge, realise and unlearn the existing realities.
How I long for the day when
not only eyes, but
the whole body
of a woman
bristles.
Aditi Malhotra (II MSW), Ammel Sharon (II DS), Arundathi Vishwanath (II MSW), Natasha Koshy (II DS), Neha Dhingra (II MSW) Reena Patel (II MSW), Sanchita Bakshi (II DS), Sanjana J (II MSW), Swati Gupta (II MSW), Ujithra Ponniah (II DS)
The verses are from Chupulu (Stares) by Jayaprabha, originally published in Telegu
Entry filed under: In General. Tags: about TISSTalks, Poetry, sexual harassment.
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TISS Talks 
1.
varunisaliberalrebel | August 2, 2008 at 4:46 am
Really like the poignancy and the pain and somewhat desperation….but at the same time, being a man, ashamed of the situation……..keep up the good work and make more and more men like me aware of the consequences of each n every small action we take..!!!!
2.
Hena | August 2, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I so agree with this post. And yes, I stare back too. Once in a while, I will inquire if they haven’t seen a woman before. Like to think it works at times.
Keep the faith, lady. 🙂
3.
Arundathi | August 2, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Yeah.
Staring back works.
They freak out if you make eye contact.
It breaks their audacity i think.
Or does it de-objectify us in some way?
4.
Christine | August 2, 2008 at 4:54 pm
we need to stand up for ourselves,
those of us who are not, need to learn to…
stare back, use words if the need be… do not just keep quiet and let it go.
5.
Nelia Sapeco (II MHA) | August 2, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Amazing lines..
keep the faith and keep up the initiative
Regards
Nelia
6.
Hopkins | August 2, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Guys out there!! beware “BROKEN ARROW” unleashed!!he he he…well, women shouldnt be taken for granted for their unique creation.Appreciate their beauty. If looks could kill, you would have been dead more than you could ever imagine!! Give them the space they require to expres themselves.
7.
Arundathi | August 2, 2008 at 5:58 pm
Space doesn’t need to be ‘given’, i think.
Its there. It belongs to each. Recognize it.
8.
Shankha | August 2, 2008 at 6:06 pm
It is predictable to be reactive and defensive when there is some wrongdoing against somebody. Probably that is statistically the most common thing to do. But if the effort is about making an impact and not just in library, please have a corrective thoughtprocess set in rolling.Reacting is important and just. But the journey does not end there. And victimization is a very potent weapon to keep people from doing that.
9.
Varun | August 2, 2008 at 6:11 pm
The best one I have heard is ” Kya ghar mein maa behen nahin ko nahin dekha hai kya ??? ” This shall make even the most cheap man feel embarassed…apart frm these lines, the safety pins and pepper sprays work wonders….my cousins love them…:) 🙂
10.
mansha | August 2, 2008 at 6:20 pm
roles are not taken by an individual by a conscious choice, we unconsciously assume some roles, the construction of a invidividuals
personality is shaped by various experiences, custom and so on..
men generally assume those roles which gives them a sense of superiority over women. like how we assume “sick roles”, we make a sad face when we are sick, it comes naturally to us.
so making one reflect on the gender role is a good attempt by the team. i hope we reflect and make conscious choices.
11.
Sanjana | August 2, 2008 at 6:35 pm
@ Shankha – requesting for clarifications
1) It would be great if you could further elaborate ‘a corrective thought process.’
2) The ‘end’ of the journey has not even been contemplated – there are still doubts about its existence. (we have a looong way to go, my friend)
3) Reactive? Do elaborate.
4) Victimisation…what?
12.
aditimalhotra | August 2, 2008 at 6:45 pm
the point is, why do you need a “maa or behen at home” to feel ashamed and embarrased about making passes at women.
13.
shreya bhattacharya | August 2, 2008 at 7:21 pm
good work done guys…proud of u…its right out there and everywhere, and now for all to contemplate and not just ignore and let go of it.
shreya
14.
anup | August 2, 2008 at 7:22 pm
keep the good job on.
15.
richa | August 2, 2008 at 8:20 pm
if somebody looks at you..its good..if sombdy stares u..then its even better…he must be aprreciating the creation of nature..(hey i may sound somebody who is promoting this..no not at all let me com to the point….)but dear friends..thats the serious question that what goes in the mind when he does that–is he only admiring or something elseee??????better filter the psyche before u attempt to stare..and as far as pinching is concenred..oh god..wht do i say on this..if hurts us then what pleasure u get in that..donot u think its a sadist approach…and dear how long these age old practises will be carried forward..even shahrukh changes his styles in evry movie..donot u think u guys need to revive urself..now a serious word guys..just give a thought before whatever you do… if u cannot end up thinki rationally then atlst the time u wll devote aftr thinki, many girls’ will be saved frm ur eyes,desperate fingers and wont have bad experiences which we have been confronting….
16.
PEPSI | August 2, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Looking…Staring…giving bad look…! And what goes in his mind? When he does such things? Well what goes in her she things when she does such things? NO GIRLS CAN’T DO SUCH THINGS! No it is not that they can’t do…generally thats the common sense! Girls should not do such things!
Be honest friends…you boy how many girls friend you have 100 girls (they are your friend). And you can hug them…hold their hand and talk to them…and thinking there was nothing in your head * (They also think)*…no go back and see in your thoughts how many of them were leaf out from your thought process…break it *** if there was anyone with whom you did not see yourself (in relation man)*** hey girl same for you! Other side in your dream how many were left out. In your day…without giving bad look or good look…how many of them were left out from your xerox machine? I am sure not many of them…still all of them were your friend and they could believe you!
Is it about who doing some so called bad things (in our culture) or why he/she doing such things? Who? You say it was me doing such things? Well one day i will leave this process (World) but i am not sure if this process will stop.
Sex…love…are biological reality…and if you and i have experienced it will agree…!!! Still our process always try to protect u…to be way from it! That’s why it will not go…but i will go and if we all mature people talk in general and be with the idea of who doing it…we will create a space where i will not believe you and you will not believe me!
Can we go back and challenge our parents…and say whats wrong in love…or sex…??? Or we will fight and accept the culture…! We will not challenge the common sense…afraid to create a new culture! We need to start from our family…and we are bigger in numbers…we can make it! In this process you and i will talk and one day you and i will be same like our parents. And our children will see the same social order…they will fight for same issue…though i will be missing from the picture…there are 1000 issue to be ask or challenge…!
Sorry i am going…i am missing my grand father…as a child i sued to go to local river for fishing and few days back i come to know they are suffering from cancer…! I am worried about them…my kids…they won’t have the concept of fishing! Come out and create it and see why?
I’m only a man yet I know we are all in this together and should act as one single world towards one single goal.
In my anger, I am not blind, and in my fear, I am not afraid to tell the world how I feel.
17.
yashaswini | August 3, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Living in Delhi for most of my life, i have practically grown up with eve teasing. Every time i used to take a bus, every single day that i got out of home, it would hardly go without some incident or the other – be it just sounds and noises, or actual physical groping. And not just me, any of the other girls i spoke to, my friends, they too go through the same thing. The saddest part is not even that these things happen. What was sadder was the degree to which we all had come to accept it and we all did not really raise our voice against it. It isn’t as if we did not know that it was wrong nor is it as if we had any doubts as to what was going on at that moment. But all points there was this hesitation to say anything. To react to the situation. We were too busy feeling an impotent rage to do anything about it. And this helplessness really is consuming. For those who are exposed to awareness like me, there does appear a ray of hope. If nothing else we at least have accessible those who think alike and those who give us the comfort of being supported. We don’t necessarily doubt ourselves anymore. But i can still feel the helplessness of those who aren’t exposed to these kinds of ideas or movements. Who are still caught up in the moments when they face such situations and still do not know how to react. I feel the helplessness of every single girl who progressively enters into this and feels this and what’s more, the helplessness of every single man who grows up in a society that makes it acceptable for them to behave in certain ways and gives them sanctity to assume certain roles.
Sometimes i feel the men are as helpless as the women in the kind of role expectations they are born into. It would probably require an equal amount of strength for them to realise that they are as much a pawn of societal prejudices as it takes for a woman to realise the same. So isn’t it about time men and not just women also took up the cudgels of this fight. It isn’t just about women having to break out of the positions that society foists upon them. It is equally important for men to break out of it too.
18.
Anu, DS | August 4, 2008 at 2:03 pm
few days back two men on the bike happen to stop right next to me outside our new campus main gate….in that half a second, i was shocked, surprised, angry, scared and helpless…i thankfully gatherd myself and shouted ‘hello excuse me’….they wickedly laughed…one of them said sorry in a thin voice and speedingly went away….
Such incidents are everyday experiences of our lives and somewhere we don’t happen to talk it loud.
With each such incidence, i have come out as a stronger being,…nothing has changed this time too.. i still walk back alone to my hostel…yes definately late night…
However, with every such experience i keep wondering why the hell do i need to be careful….why can’t it be an easy walk, an easy travel, and easy life in general..
19.
Ujithra | August 4, 2008 at 8:12 pm
If you have been out late at night, you would see a new side of amchi Mumbai; quieter,cleaner, guzzling with lights and find people who start their work when yours ends.
Reena and I decided to do a mini tour of Mumbai at night and decided to use the bus. Contrary to the public nature of the transport, as the day comes to an end the space of the bus or as a matter of fact the city becomes extremely gendered, as we painfully realized. There were no women in the bus and although there were empty seats at the back, the conductor ushered us to the reserved seats in the front (so for all those who think that reservation for women in buses is a bad idea, this is something to bear in mind). I occupied a corner window seat and so did Reena in front of me. While I was busy listening to music and reading my book, this old man (mid 50s) comes and sits next to Reena….
We did not respond, we were just so shocked. It does not matter how many times it happens to you, it always comes as a surprise. Here the surprise factor was the man’s age. Everybody in the bus knew what the man had done since Reena created a nose but they all looked at us accusingly, of course implying ‘what are you doing out so late?’. All we were left with was anger at not reacting or not reacting enough.
The city and its ‘public’ facilities should belong to all irrespective of time, class, caste or gender ideally. However, since we do not live in such a world we learn to reclaim what is rightfully ours.
20.
Shraddha | August 4, 2008 at 9:20 pm
🙂 Great going girls and all the best!
21.
Anonymous | August 4, 2008 at 9:44 pm
I have an instance to share, suprisingly not about the crime capital where I come from but our very own home turf – TISS.
Sometime back, I was sitting with a person of the opposite sex in campus. ALthough late in the night, we were merely chatting up..But as luck would have it, a faculty member suddenly appeared out of thin air. He freaked out, seeing us out so late in the night.
We were summoned to his cabin where he began with this tirade of us not only having broken the hostel rules but for having used the institute as a brothel. He accused me of being a prostitute!Even though I asked him to apologize, he very conviniently ignored that and continued his lambaste.
What bohters me the most is that, not only did he insult my dignity of being a girl but also of the millions of sex workers in our country who make a living out of this profession..
It disgusts me whenever I think of this but somehow feel helpless at the hands of the faculty member who got away with it (because of his obvious position of power), that too without even an apology!!
22.
arundathi87 | August 4, 2008 at 9:53 pm
@ Shraddha
Its not only girls I think 🙂
23.
Ammel | August 4, 2008 at 9:57 pm
It is unfortunate that the smudge on our poster in the DH was left by Anonymous.
A Woman has to ‘become’ Anonymous when she is at the receiving end of sexism.
A Faculty Member ‘becomes’ Anonymous to maintain a status quo.
Power relations play out differently under Anonymity.
Soon, we must meet, without fear.
24.
Shikha Lakhanpal | August 5, 2008 at 5:37 am
@ varun : “The best one I have heard is ” Kya ghar mein maa behen nahin ko nahin dekha hai kya ??? ” This shall make even the most cheap man feel embarassed…apart frm these lines, the safety pins and pepper sprays work wonders….my cousins love them… ”
First thigs first : Kya ghar mein maa behen nahin hai, is an extremely derogatory comment for the women in question…it is not something that should ever be used as a response to eve teasing as it perpetrates the very culture of staring at women whether they be your mothers or sisters..
Secondly, i dont think the fact tht your cousins use peer spray or safety pins is something to be proud of or to grin about..stop finding how to avoid eve teasing..it has to stop..period.
25.
Sheetal | August 5, 2008 at 6:10 am
May this is the way to stop the violence against women and we can make more people aware about this issues.
gre8888
I really like this idea of putting up the thoughts through posters
posters are really nice and messages are clear too…
🙂
26.
Gilroy 2006-2008 SW Batch | August 5, 2008 at 10:23 am
Hey Friends,
After going through above comments now i really think that you should organise “Self Difence” workshop for all those who are interested. It would be really helpful at times when you find yourself helpless.
27.
swati | August 5, 2008 at 1:47 pm
though its a li’ll late but still, i just wanna comment on what shanka wrote : “It is predictable to be reactive and defensive” :
the very beginning of the comment requires a ‘corrective thought process’ by the one who has written it, as i think the very reason of making this effort is that, what you refer to as being ‘predictable’ is not happening. People who face gender discrimination remain quiet most of the time. That is why ‘we need to react’also when you further say that this is the statistically most common reaction, then you need to be careful before generalising this, as in this context which we are talking, incidents are hushed up or seen too common place to respond to.
28.
neha | August 5, 2008 at 2:03 pm
what i really feel is that it is important for each one of us to stand up and respond, let every man who takes it as his right to look at women feel that its not ok!!!we need to speak for ourselves and not to be consious, coz if we dont it really doesnt help us!!
i noe of countless instances when i have been eve teased or even felt up in public spaces… i mean isnt it normal to come back home with such experiences..??? with each experience making an unforgettable mark in my head…
the other day my mom asked me ‘what do you think can happen if you stare back? just get used to it, its a prt of life…’ I dont want it to be a part of my life.. that is why i chose to speak up and not let go of it… Coz this needs to get started sumwhere…
lets all be courageous and share….
29.
Sanjana | August 5, 2008 at 2:31 pm
@Gilroy
However well intentioned you may be in wanting to give women self-defence classes, I think the point is that we shouldn’t HAVE to take such classes, we shouldn’t HAVE to defend ourselves.
30.
gauri | August 6, 2008 at 7:02 am
@shanka
this is not a reaction nor is it a defense.its about coming out in the open with what everyone knows and choses not to talk about.its about sensitizing others and ourselves about what we are surrounded by.lets not term this reactive.
31.
just | August 6, 2008 at 1:39 pm
@ Gilroy.
i think Sanjana made a point, secondly, its not about feeling “helpless” but its abt feeling angry to the extent of beating the person there, if we all learn Self defense, then i dont know how many fights every day we will encounter,
therefore can we have a change for betterment of both the sexes.
32.
Mary | August 7, 2008 at 6:01 am
When i was in TISS it always baffled me why the so called gender amity committe was so dormant or for that matter not even visible. I guess if this initaitve of yours can even look at the role and accountability of the gender amity committee it can be great. My friends and even i have not had a great experience with this committee , at the end of the day it made me feel its all talking with no jaws, i actually regreted going there ever.
33.
pannkhuri | August 8, 2008 at 8:27 am
ummmmm…..feminism…do i hear it rite?….tell u wht..u cant reach tht ‘ism’ till u arent ready to call urself a ‘female chauvinist pig’…..
34.
pannkhuri | August 8, 2008 at 8:43 am
n uji……u surprised by tht ‘age factor’????..strange…..havnt u heard/seen/felt any male braggin tht ‘machoism and mardanagi’hve no age and tht without them no man can claim to b a ‘man’….this display of ‘manliness’ is way toos tale to come as a shocker..
35.
Koyel | August 8, 2008 at 12:17 pm
pannkhuri-If I got you right, you seem to equate feminism with, well, female chauvinist piggism. Feminism isn’t about being anti-man, it isn’t a reverse of patriarchy. But then again, there isn’t a feminism, there are feminisms, so I can’t presume to even begin to explain the term. I suspect everyone evolves their own understanding of it, the gist of which is generally involves a refusal to take more shit. 🙂
http://ntb.stanford.edu/quotes.html
(If your comment was mere sarcasm, then I apologise. My detector is malfunctioning 🙂 )
36.
pannkhuri | August 8, 2008 at 1:46 pm
koyel…u r partially rite; u r partially wrong if u expect the classical definition of feminism to pay the men in same coin..as the verses above suggest..ogglin at them back n other paraphernalia..umm..it wudnt do..these acts don fit in with the feminist ‘elegance’..a part of my definition of an’fcp’ means a woman who sees males as a downgraded species, whom i think has the capability to pay the men in the same coin, and not the classical feminism, coz the vice versa is true wid men..u’d never catch a ‘real man’ in an act of opprobrium…and yes..i liked tht ‘shit’ line of urs..:-)
37.
Varun (HRM) | August 8, 2008 at 7:30 pm
@Shikha
I guess I have been misunderstood again..:( 😦
I dint ever mean that we are supposed to stare at our mothers and sisters, what I mean is when you have your own mother and sister at home, how can you even think of harassing another lady when someone else can do the same to your sister or mother ?
That is what I meant….
As for pepper sprays and pins, guess you ignored the sarcasm in it….look, eve teasing is not something which we can eradicate by putting up a few posters or so….its something deeply ingrained in the society and to remove it shall require years and years of lador by us , the new generation. But does that mean, we do nothing short term..certainly not….thats where these pepper sprays, pins and staring back comes in…!!!!
I hope I have made myself clear..!!
38.
Varun (HRM) | August 8, 2008 at 7:34 pm
@Ammel
As for the Anonynous comment on the posters, that was not something out of the blue….in fact I am happy that the posters created a thinking process in that person that he chose to read the poster and post a comment however inappropriate it may be..!!
Ofcourse, when we are taking on something which has been happening by ages n ages, there shall be a resentment towards it….just got to take it in our stride..!!
( Plz dont take this as Im condoning that person…I would have loved if he had put his name under that comment…!!!)
39.
anonymous | August 9, 2008 at 3:19 pm
honestly guys…..telling people not to do something through good words is just not enough!!…..i am forced to remember the dialogue from the movie “THE DEPARTED”….since i cant quote it i will just give the jist of it….in the kind of neighbourhoods we live in we can get farther with a threat and a good word than merely with a good word….posters alone just wont do….people are wired that way….posters+ pepper sprays+ a nice karate move/tackle will go a long way….they create longer lasting neural fixations (memories)
40.
anonymous | August 9, 2008 at 3:22 pm
and yeah..one more thing…that guy who was stuck up with the “female” concept….how will he feel if all of us, rather than being the respectable people we are, start calling him as just the “male”????
41.
anonymous | August 9, 2008 at 6:51 pm
i appreciate the initiative…..
but i m sceptical about these initiative whether they are treating the symptom or the REAL problem
frankly speaking patriarchy is never bad,but blind submission to patriarchy is worse,and the subservience syndrome thus created is even worst.
42.
sarmistha,msw | August 10, 2008 at 9:33 am
to all of you out there who are really talking about this without taking refuge to anonimity…….please keep it up. i came here with first hand knowledge of every form of molestation possible….either my own experience or someone i know closely. and i came here expecting to get riddance form all that. afterall, as they say this is “TISS”. that is not a fair expectation, i learnt. however, i am happy this is a place i can voice my opinion without ten others around me keeping me to shut up and forget it. however, to my amazement, there are girls in campus who feel the issue is not to be talked about publicly!!!
this is not reaction. this is not feminism. this is just coming out and being honest. this is about talking of turning around the equation and giving them a slap in their face rather than letting it be.
43.
sarmistha,msw | August 10, 2008 at 9:36 am
plz ignore the errors in my post ……..
44.
anonymous | August 10, 2008 at 10:18 am
friends, i hav a question……….
-is harrasment for female is always from the male?(eve-teasing,staring,gendered comments etc.)
u can also realise the harrasment for some female coming from female(and they are also sexually targeted),u can also realise the harrasment for male (oftenly a preson who have bad looks,poor communication,bad dress etc.)from female and sometime they are also gendered.These things are also happening in campus
45.
Varun (HRM) | August 12, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Yes, I agree…but we are talking abt percentages….surely the largest percentage of guilty are men….the rest abt women harassing women is a very small percentage, is what I feel…!!
As for men being discriminated against bad looks etc, that is a different issue alltogether….so lets not mix up issues..!!!
46.
anonymous | August 14, 2008 at 9:24 am
why dude?it hurts alot when a fellow female pinches u on sexuality
47.
Varun (HRM) | August 14, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Yes, I am sure it does…but the reasons why women harass women is very different to the reason of why men harass women…Im sure you shall agree with that….I guess if we start mixing these 2 issues, then we shall be in no man’s land…so lets tackle one issue at a time instead of pondering on each and every problem men and women face.., but yes it is very interesting how women sexually molest women…( Freud has an excellent explanation for that..!!!)
48.
AKASH RAMAN | August 15, 2008 at 8:15 am
chalo bahut hogaya….kitna dinsey dekhraha hoon ye…. ….SEE FIRST OF ALL ALL THE GIRLS REMEMBER THAT, GUYS TREAT U WITH GREAT RESPECT AND WITH OUT GENDER DIFFERENCE…THEY VALUE U A LOT…WATS THE NONSENSE OF PUTTING THE POSTER ”WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT” ,…….IF SOME BAD INCIDENT HAPPENED TO YOU COME FORWARD AND OPEN UP….WE ARE ALL WITH YOU…I THINK SOME OF U HAD NEVER SEEN GUYS WITH THIS MUCH UP CLOSE IN LIFE……AFTER ALL WE ARE GUYS..SEE THIS IS NOT STEREOTYPE…WE DO FUN SOME TIMES.DOESNT MEAN WE INSULT THEM..WE KNOW OUR MOTHER AND SISTER TOO BELONG TO SAME SPECIES….COME ON GIRLS DONT U THINK THAT U GOTTA BE A BIT SPORTIVE IN LIFE….AFTER ALL IF NOT WE WHO WILL SEE U….THEN IF U ARE VERY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH WEARING ”TIGHT T SHIRTS” THEN DONT WEAR IT,..U CAN WEAR A PATIALA DRESS OR A SAREE….. WHEN U FEEL THAT U HAVE FULL FREEDOM TO DRESS AS U CAN….EVEN GUYS WILL HAVE FULL FREEDOM TO WATCH. NOW DONT SAY THAT U PROVOKE BY WEARING ”TIIIIIIGHT WEAR OUTS” AND EXPECT TO NOT TO HAVE A LOOK AT U……
WHATS HAPPENING IN THE CAMPUS…..BE SPORTIVE.COME ON….WE ARE IN TISS………IN TALKS WITH PALS SOME TIMES WE LOOSE OUR TONGUE….DOES NOT MEAN THAT WE R VILLAINS LIKE IN A MOVIE,,,,IT MEANS THAT WE ARE HUMANS WHO DO MISTAKES SOME TIME….COME ON GIRLS WHATS HAPPENING…LETS BE MORE SPORTIVE AND FRIENDLY…..
AND TO BE FRANK MOST OF THE GIRLS HAVE FULL FREEDOM IN CAMPUS,,,,THE BEST CAMPUS WE HAVE EVER SEENN…..IF U STILL FACE SOME REAL PROBLEMS….COME FORWARD OPENLY,…REALLY WE ARE ALL WITH U,,,,,,BECAUSE U NEVER UNDERSTOOD GUYS IN YOUR LIVES.
49.
AKASH RAMAN | August 15, 2008 at 8:25 am
EVEN U LOOK AT OUR GUYS WHEN EVER U WANT WHERE EVER U WANT,,BUT WE NEVER COMPLAIN…….AND U PASS ON SO MANY COMENTS ON US ABOUT OUR DRESS,LOOKS AND SO ON
BUT WE NEVER COMPLAIN.BECAUSE U FEEL AT THE END OF THE DAY WE ARE GUYS……ITS U WHO FEEL U ARE DIFFERENT IN GENDER…WE NEVER FELT THAT..EXTEND UR HAD AND SEE WE ARE THE BEST TO PROTECT U AND CARE U..
ONCE AGAIN …THE ISSUES U HAVE KEPT ARE MINOR AND NOT UP TO THE EXTENT WHERE IT HAS TO BE KEPT ON SIGN BOARDS AND THE COMMENTS U HAVE FACED ARE COMMON IN YOUR ROUTINE LIFE,,,,,,U GIRLS CANT BEAR A SINGLE SLIP OF WORD WITH THE SAME GUY WITH WHOM U R TALKING FOR A LONG TIME,,,,,,STILL ITS COLLEGE LIFE,,,,IT HAPPENS…DONT EXPECT EVERY DAY TO PASS LIKE A ”FULL COMPLIMENT DAY”….
PLEASE DIFFERENTIATE THE BORDER LINE BETWEEN FUN AND SERIOUSNESS.
IF HARASHMENT OF ”SERIOUS NATURE”IS REALLY TRUE COME OUT WITH DETAIL..WE ARE
REALLY WITH U.
.HAVE A GOOD DAY AND ALL THE BEST FOR ALL OF U.
50.
Varun (HRM) | August 15, 2008 at 9:08 am
Akash, my friend, first of all, I thank you a million times for your post. I think you have given us the best case study of a male who thinks everything is fine and its such a person whom we are looking at to educate and make them aware of the nuances of harassment.
I am sure that there shall be lots of feedback directed at you and I hope you take them all in the right spirit and in your stride just as we have taken you comments.
Now let me dissect your analysis line by line :
I THINK SOME OF U HAD NEVER SEEN GUYS WITH THIS MUCH UP CLOSE IN LIFE……
With 70 % population of India male, do you think what you said is true ?
WE DO FUN SOME TIMES.DOESNT MEAN WE INSULT THEM..
So, now you shall have fun and you only shall decide if thats an insult or not…shows how ingrained the thought of subordinating women is, that you dont even realise its the woman who feels insulted and you dont even feel the need for feedback from them.
AFTER ALL IF NOT WE WHO WILL SEE U….
All I can say is ur in big trouble dude….
THEN IF U ARE VERY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH WEARING ”TIGHT T SHIRTS” THEN DONT WEAR IT,..U CAN WEAR A PATIALA DRESS OR A SAREE….. WHEN U FEEL THAT U HAVE FULL FREEDOM TO DRESS AS U CAN….EVEN GUYS WILL HAVE FULL FREEDOM TO WATCH. NOW DONT SAY THAT U PROVOKE BY WEARING ”TIIIIIIGHT WEAR OUTS” AND EXPECT TO NOT TO HAVE A LOOK AT U……
Women never feel uncomfortable wearing tight clothes, its men who make them uncomfortable by staring at them, mate.
Akash, tell me have you never stared, oggled or enjoyed a woman clad in a sari…in fact a sari is considered to be the most sensual Indian dress.
WE ARE IN TISS………IN TALKS WITH PALS SOME TIMES WE LOOSE OUR TONGUE….DOES NOT MEAN THAT WE R VILLAINS LIKE IN A MOVIE,,,,IT MEANS THAT WE ARE HUMANS WHO DO MISTAKES SOME TIME….
This is the only statement that I agree partially with..
51.
Varun (HRM) | August 15, 2008 at 9:13 am
Now it gets even worse….
EVEN U LOOK AT OUR GUYS WHEN EVER U WANT WHERE EVER U WANT,,BUT WE NEVER COMPLAIN…….AND U PASS ON SO MANY COMENTS ON US ABOUT OUR DRESS,LOOKS AND SO ON
BUT WE NEVER COMPLAIN
Does a woman anytime look at a guy with the intention of “degrading” a man ??? Is it not appreciative or something else…how many times have you looked at a tight clothes clad woman with a feeling of appreciation/respect ??? All you feel is ” she’s such a cheap wh!@#”…!!!
ITS U WHO FEEL U ARE DIFFERENT IN GENDER…WE NEVER FELT THAT..EXTEND UR HAD AND SEE WE ARE THE BEST TO PROTECT U AND CARE U..
Very paternalistic of you….are you the father of all womankind ???!!!!!
I dont think I can any longer use my logic…the anger shall soon take over….so ciao..!!!
P.S: No offences meant to anyone..we are not targetting any individuals but its the mindset we are trying to change…so even if it was not Akash and say s TISS professor, we would have posted the same stuff..!!!
52.
AKASH RAMAN | August 15, 2008 at 11:42 am
VARUN ALL I CAN SAY ABOUT IS THAT U R SUFFERING FROM INFERIORITY COMPLEX…..DONT U THINK SO,,I AM NOT RETALIATING UR OPINION FIRST OF ALL….BECOME A BIT MATURE…..
WE GUYS NEVER SEE GIRLS ON THE INTENTION OF LOOKIN THEM LOW..AFTER ALL WE LIKE THEM A LOT…..
NEXT IS ITS NOT UR RIGHT TO SAY IN WHICH SENSE WE SEE….AND HOW CAN U DECIDE BY LOOKS THAT IN WHICH SENSE WE R IN WHEN WE R LOOKING…….
DONT THIN URSELF A PSYCHOLOGIST R KINDS ROCKET SCIENTIST…
IF SOME GIRLS LIKE U R ENOUGH TO GET A BAD IMPRESSION FOR ALL GUYS WHO R IN CAMPUS….
IF U HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT GUY U CLEAR ONLY WITH HIM..
DONT U HAD GUTS TO FACE HIM,,,,RATHER THAN POSTING HERE,,,,EVERY BODY SUPPORTS AN ATROCITY ….THEN U SHOULD HAVE ASKED HIM .DIRECTLY….
DEAR VARUN JEE U WIL NEVER FIND A RAM FROM RAMAYANA IN GUYS…..IF U WANT TO FIND THEN MY ADVICE IS TO NOT TO MARRY.
AND NEVER GO SO DEEP INTO IDEAS WHAT MIGHT BE A GUY LOOKING AT THIS POINT OF TIME…….U WIL MISJUDGE SOME TIMES.
GUYS R GUYS ……IN THE SENSE WE HAVE LOTTA RESPECT FOR WOMEN….WE KNOW THE VALUE OF MOTHER SISTER AND GIRLFRIEND….AND U HAVE TO DIGEST THEM WAT THEY ARE…
U SHOULD BE COUNCELLED A LOT…..DONT GET ANGER …….JUST THINK IF THERE IS ANY POINT IN MY VIEW….
THE SITUATION IS NOT THAT MUCH BAD AS U THINK IT IS IN THE CAMPUS….
53.
AKASH RAMAN | August 15, 2008 at 11:49 am
IF SOME ONE SAYS U TO PROTECT U AND CARE U,,,,,INSTEAD OF TAKING POSITIVE U TOOK IT IN A NEGATIVE WAY,,,,,,,,THAT IT SELF TELLS UR DEVIATED PERVERTED MIND….SORRY TO SAY THAT….
EVEN EVERY THING I TOLD U …..U TOOK IT IN THE SAME NEGATIVE MIND…..IT TELLS WAT AMOUNT OF HATRED TOWARDS GUYS U GOT IN UR MIND.
U R SPOILING SOME OTHERS GIRLS MINDS IN THE CAMPUS…….
I STILL FEEL GUYS R NOT THAT MUCH BAD AS U CAN SEE IN THE CAMPUS…\
AS ABT MY DESIGNATION …..ME TALK WOULD HAVE TOLD U WHO I AM
HAVA GOOD DAY
SO SA
54.
AKASH RAMAN | August 15, 2008 at 11:52 am
FATHER IS ONLY ONE IN LIFE ..U DONT GET FATHER IN ANY ONE..DONT USE HIM IN SUCH A MANNER……..HE HAS HIS OWN RESPECT…
THIS IS NOT USA……
55.
concernedperson | August 15, 2008 at 1:38 pm
you guys are embarrassing us with the level of discussion u are having people…get a grip….clear ur heads 🙂 …..man i am laughing my life out here reading ur comments…..keep it up…:-)
56.
concernedperson | August 15, 2008 at 1:44 pm
honestly …..Mr akash….u are so naive if u think guys look at girls wearing some kind of clothes in a respecting manner….honestly i dont….and guys i know dont…guess u are one in a million or a billion then……keep it up again….:-)
57.
shall i reveal | August 15, 2008 at 5:20 pm
hey all and et al….lovely discussions…after reading all the responses i was surprised as well as laughing my heart out…well MSW IInd year gals…ver r u all? The debate started so nicely and wot we see at the end…ver are we going…wotz the direction?? wen u all learned pplz go on babbling der is some one who is feeling rhe needle…now if we agree that men would stare at a gal due to biological set up dan itz all over (well said Akash) … now we all know that it is not so…i know many of friends who rather die than look at gals n see i m not bragging and plz beleive…der r males in this campur who feels so…but AGAIN…der r more boys who are opposite…n Akash I feel your breed are some who we all sud target first ,,,, i mean in terms of sensitization…even Varun your type breeds are also not far down the priority list….if any one has any confusion just compare the thoughts of Varun in other sections of this page..remember the comments about u and ur friends after a few drinks….anyways GALS…i agree we have a problem here…an issue which needs to be addressed…well how? can we all come ot the point rather than beating around the bushes….let us agree and start thinking on HOW part…any concrete ideas??? use this space for that purpose and we wud kow how deep we re in?
58.
Parul | August 15, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Akash your frank views have been very enlightening, I appreciate your courage in coming out with what you feel, even though I don’t agree with most of what you say. What I am going to say is not out of anger, don’t disregard it as reactionary.
OK first of all I have known people up close, both guys and girls so its not that I don’t understand guys. I have been treated with respect but that is not something I have to be thankful for because that is my due as a person who has not been disrespectful to others. I have not faced harassment on the
TISS campus, but from some of the statements that you have made its obvious that a lot of us have.
“AFTER ALL WE ARE GUYS..SEE THIS IS NOT STEREOTYPE…WE DO FUN SOME TIMES……. AFTER ALL IF NOT WE WHO WILL SEE U…… AND THE COMMENTS U HAVE FACED ARE COMMON IN YOUR ROUTINE LIFE” and other statemeents on the same lines
If I talk to a guy for a long time I am not obliged to take “SLIP OF WORD”. To not react to insult is not to be “SPORTIVE AND FRIENDLY”. I agree “IT HAPPENS” and it is a part of our “ROUTINE LIFE” but that does not make it alright, it is WRONG and it MUST NOT HAPPEN. Rape too is fairly routine and common.
I have not felt the need for a protector when I have been harassed what I have felt is anger, and I am capable of taking care of myself. There is a problem in the fact that you feel we should extend our hand for the ‘best protection and care’ that you feel you can provide.
All sexual harassment is of a SERIOUS NATURE, there is nothing MINOR about it, whether it is a girl or a boy who has faced it. If you as a guy have felt violated by comments looks etc I think that too should be brought up in this forum.
59.
Varun (HRM) | August 16, 2008 at 1:59 am
First of all, I would not like to react to Akash’s comments as again by having one to one debates, we are ruining the purpose of the community.
Akash, you shall find my number in my orkut profile, else come over to the Green Room in the new campus anytime to have a “friendly” chat…!!
Now as to shall I reveal,( the tougher person to handle)
even Varun your type breeds are also not far down the priority list….if any one has any confusion just compare the thoughts of Varun in other sections of this page..remember the comments about u and ur friends after a few drinks…
Please elaborate on this as I fail to see your point ( Im indeed a dumb person..!)
My comments about my buddies after a round of drinks was meant to infuriate, enlighten, and provoke responses and not to condone or support men when they do that. And to be perfectly frank, it is none’s business what we say or think in a closed room after a round of drinks ( as we talk only crap..!!)
By using terms like “types” and “breeds” again ur falling in ur own trap of “stereotyping”
Akash is one individual….Varun is one individual….each of us is different and to say that we belong to some “breed” is complete malignment…
So, whenever you say something buddy, put urself in Varun’s positions, put yourself in Akash’s position and then comment….thats called empathising ….n thats the only solution to this problem…not babbling..but EMPATHISING….THE DAY YOU EMPATHISE WITH A WOMAN SUFFERING FROM HARASSMENT, YOU SHALL STOP DOING IT…..PERIOD
60.
Varun (HRM) | August 16, 2008 at 2:01 am
Well said, Parul….I would in fact encourage men to come out of the closet and post on how they have been harassed by women ( or is too much of an ego issue ??!!)
61.
Anurima | August 16, 2008 at 5:41 am
now this demands attention…
“Sexual harassment okay as it ensures humans breed, Russian judge rules
A Russian advertising executive who sued her boss for sexual harassment lost her case after a judge ruled that employers were obliged to make passes at female staff to ensure the survival of the human race.”
Please read the entire article on the Telegraph site:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/2470310/Sexual-harrassment-okay-as-it-ensures-humans-breed,-Russian-judge-rules.html
62.
shall i reveal | August 16, 2008 at 7:59 am
@ Varun….very innovative way to make us understand the real meaning of ur comments (u and ur friend after a few drinks)…My comments about my buddies after a round of drinks was meant to infuriate, enlighten, and provoke responses and not to condone or support men when they do that……..I just wonder why u didn’t enlightented us with this earlier…even at the forum where you have originally made this comment….so VARUN ur an individual just like AKASH…we all agree….and we need to really identify such INDIVIDUALS…if we want a threat-less environment (ATLEAST) in TISS…..gotta go boss…next time more…cheers!
63.
AKASH RAMAN | August 16, 2008 at 11:33 am
U R FORGETTING THE VERY HUMAN NATURE…U FORGOT THAT WE ARE ANIMALS FIRST(CALLED HUMAN BEINGS),,,,ALSO CALLED CIVILISED ANIMALS……….BUT U R ASKING TO FORGET THE VERY BASIC INSTINCTS…..WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO LOGIC……BOYS SHOULDNT LOOK AT GIRLS..AND GIRLS HOULDNT LOOK AT BOYS…….AND BOYS SHOULD NEVER GET ATTRACTED TO GIRLS……..WAT A CRAP.DO U THINK IS THIS ALL POSSIBLE VARUN JEE AND PARUL JEEE…. U R TRYING TO QUESTION THE NATURE.I MEAN THE GREAT GOD….. LOOK GUYS THERE IS ALWAYS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN IN THE LIMITS AND OUT OF LIMITS…JUST LOOKS IS ALWAYS IN THE LIMITS…AND SO CALLED RAPE AND SEXUAL HARRASHMENT AS U SAID, IS ALWAYS OUT OF LIMITS.AND EVEN WE CONDEMN IT.. SO DEAR DONT SAY THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE….
COMING TO THE POINT ….U R FEELING AS U CAUGHT A BIG VILLAIN IN THE CAMPUS.I MEAN U KEPT SOME OF US IN HIGH PROFILE VILLAIN LIST…….. I THANKED GOD A LOT AT LAST AM GONNA BECOME A CELEBRITY…
UR TALK WAS NEVER BALANCED.. .
SO GUYS SHOULD NEVER LOOK AT GIRLS .WAT THE HELL IDEA ARE U TALKING ABOUT,,,,IS IT POSSIBLE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD WHERE EVER MALE SPECIES EXIST..
ONLY COME OUT WHEN ITS EMBRACCING AND OUT OF LIMITS…WHEN WE LOOK AT U WITHOUT UR NOTICE AND SOME TIMES WE MAY NOT….U THINK THAT ITS OFFENDING… EVERY PERSON HAS THE RIGHT TO SEE THE NATURE..EVERY ONE HAS THE FREEDOM TO WATCH WAT IS IN FRONT OF THEM… U OFFEER THEM A SWEET AND ASK THEM NOT TO EAT……WAT THE HELL….. U NEVEER THOUGHT GUYS FEELINGS.EVEN WE R HUMANS ….HOW WOULD WE REACT WHEN U WEAR A TIIIIIIIIGHT T SHIRT …..EXPOSING LEGS.EXPOSING SOME OF THE PARTS…. HOW OFFENDING WE FEEL. HOW MUCH WE GET DISTURBED …U CRAP..NOW U SAY WE FEEL OFFENDED WHEN U GUYS LOOK AT US… IN THE SAME WAY UR DRESSING TOO OFFENDING US….KNOW IT…… AS PART OF ANIMAL NATURE ……TO BE FRANK…..HUMANS ARE ANIMALS TOO…….WE R CIVILISED ANIMALS I MEAN……SO U R REALLY DISTURBING US AND OFFENDING US A LOT TOO..ESPECIALLY THE JEANS AND SKIRTS THINGS…AM FRANK ENOUGH TO ADMIT.,…COZ I KNOW IN WHICH SPECIES I BELONG TO………..
COMING TO ”’IS THAT WHAT U ALL LOOK AT” SOME ONE POSTED THE PHYSICAL NATURE OF SOME POOR GIRL AND ASKING GUYS TO BECOME RAM IN RAMAYANA……
WAT THE HELL…DONT U THINK ABNORMALITY IN THIS IDEA….IS THAT POSTER NECESSARY IN OUR CURRENT SITUATION…WHO TOLD U THAT GUYS ONLY LOOK AT PHYSICAL NATURE IN A GIRL….HOW COME U CAME TO CONCLUSION ABT ALL POOR MALE SPECIES…. WE DO RESPECT GIRLS DOESNT MEAN THAT WE SHOULD NEVER LOOK AT THEM IN SEXUAL WAY…ITS A STUPID IDEA… I THINK U R PLANNING TO STOP THE HUMAN RACE BY STOPPING THEIR VERY BASIC INSTINCTS…
64.
AKASH RAMAN | August 16, 2008 at 11:52 am
ONE MORE COMMENT BY SOME GREAT PERSON SAYING “IS THAT FOR THIS MASS OF FLESH R U LOOKING AT”….
LOOK DEAR BUDDIES……..DONT GO INTO THE VERY ATOM AND MOLECULAR LEVEL……U N ME GOT THE SAME FLESH AND BLOOD. SO LOOKING IN THAT WAY AND SPOILING THE ”MEANING OF BEAUTY”. WOMEN LOOKS BEAUTIFUL AS PART OF GODS CREATION IN A RIGHT WAY…. HE KNOWS WHERE TO PUT THAT FLESH THING.. ITS CALLED BEAUTY BY HIM..BUT THE CREATOR NEVER THOUGHT INTELLIGENT PEOPLE ON EARTH WILL TAKE IT IN ”FLESH LEVEL”. IF U SEE A BEAUTIFUL PAINTING……U WILL SAY THAT ITS ALL FILLED WITH ELCTRONS AND PROTONS.SO U SPOILED THE MEANING OF BEAUTY….
SEE IF U PROCEED IN TO DEEP LEVEL THE PROBLEM IS HUMANS WILL LOOSE INTEREST IN BEAUTY….WHICH I THINK IS REQUIRED UPTO SOME EXTENT… U CAN SEE SOME OF THEM HAVE ALREADY TURNING INTO HOMOSEXUALS… AM SERIOUS DONT U THINK SO..
SO MY STRAIGHT QUESTION IS WHEN U R DISTURBING US,,,,,WHY SHOULDNT WE…. I MEAN U DISTURD US IN UR OWN WAY OF DRESSING AND ASK US TO STOP OUR ANIMAL INSTINCT…
IF U REALLY CARE URSLEF AND US THEN DRESS IN A SOCIAL SENSE..AM NOT ORDERING AS A MONARCH..JUST A CHOICE…THEN U CAN SEE A DECREASE IN SEXUAL HARSHMENT IN SOCIETY…NOW
DONT SAY JUST DRESS CAN CHANGE THE SOCIETY..IT HAS ITS OWN POSITIVE IMPACT….
NOW ONCE AGAIN COMING TO THE POINT. U R MIXING THE TWO …I MEAN LOOKING WITH EYES AND RAPE.. THEY R DIFFERENT…..SO UPTO SOME EXTENT U DONT HAVE TO MAKE THIS MUCH CRAP IN CAMPUS WHICH IS THE HUMAN NATURE I MEAN….. IF GUYS REALLY EXCEED LIMITS……THEN EVERY ONE WILL SUPPORT U….U SHOULD HAVE SEEN
HOW MANY GUYS IN WOMENS ORGANISATIONS AND ANTI HARASHMENT PROGRAMMES.
U MEAN THEY NEVER LOOKED WOMEN IN A SEXUAL WAY… THEN ITS IMMATURITY..
WE SEE THEM BEAUTIFUL.BECOZ THEY R BEAUTIFUL…DOESNT MEAN THAT WE R PERVERTED AND IMMORAL…
IF IMMORALITY OCCURS WITH LOOKS THEN DRESSING THEM AND PROVOKING THEM IS ALSO IMMORAL ON THE NAME OF FREEDOM
65.
AKASH RAMAN | August 16, 2008 at 11:58 am
NOW WHATS WRONG .IF WE LOOK AT U WHAT U R…. EVEN U WANT THE SAME,,,,,,NOT SOME OF U….BUT SOME ATLEAST LIKE LOOKING AT THEM…DONT DISAGREE NOW…..EVEN UR POPULATION IS MIXED WITH SOME GIRLS LIKE LOOKING AND SOME DONT.
COMING TO SEXUAL HARSHMENT …….ITS A SERIOUS OFEFNCE,,,AND THEY NEVER STATED THAT LOOKS IS A SEXUAL HARASHMENT,,,BECOZ U CAN NEVER JUDGE WATS IN HIS MIND AT THAT POINT OF TIME,,,
SO ITS AN ADVANTAGE FOR US……..HAHAHAHAHA…JUST KIDDING..
SO GIRLS….IF U FIND A BIGGER PROBLEM OTHER THAN JUST LOOKS OPEN UP…U WILL SEE OUR SUPPORT IN PRACTICALITY….
WE DONNO WHY THIS TOPIC CAME SUDDENLY IN CAMPUS, DID ANY THING ODD HAPPENED…IF SO LET EVERY ONE KNOW OTHER THAN JUST ‘STARING’ THING.
U GIRLS UNDERSTAND THE GUYS …..WE LOOOK AT BEAUTY DOESNT MEAN THAT WE DONT RESPECT THEM…
TELL ME IN WHICH WAY DOES IT DEPRIVE UR RESPECT,WHEN WE VALUE U AND TREAT U THE SAME WITH ZERO TOLERANCE ATLEAT IN PRESENT AGE.
66.
AKASH RAMAN | August 16, 2008 at 12:08 pm
WE HAVE ZERO TOLERANCE FOR GENDER AND SEX IN THE CAMPUS….WITH LOTS OF FREEDOM IN TISS IF U FEEL THIS…THEN U SHOULD SEE BIHAR AND SOME PARTS OF RAJASTHAN……
SOME GIRL SAYS MALES R 70 PERCENT AND FEMALE POPULATION IS 30 PERCENT,,,,,,CAN I KNOW FROM WHICH BOOK DID SHE SEE….
THE CURRENT POULATION SEX RATIO IS 910 WOMEN FOR 1000 MEN.IN NO WAY FAMALE POPULATION BECOMES 30 PERCENT,,,WHEN U R IN A TOPIC U SHOULD BE PRACTICAL,,RATHER THAN JUS TRYING TO CONVINCE WITH IMPRACTICAL FIGURES.
WE HAVE THE HABIT OF SPEAKING STRAIGHT…..PLZ DONT MIND….BECOZ ATLEAST IN THIS BLOG WE CAN EXCHANGE IDEAS…WHICH IS EDUCATORY ON BOTH SIDES…
COMING TO PRIRITY LIST……SOME TOLD THAT THIS TYPE IS IN HIGH PRIORITY LIST……THEN PUT ALL THE GUYS INTO THAT LIST IN THE ENTIRE WOLRD….
ITS NOT US WHO NEEDS COUNCELLING ,,,,,,ITS U OF UR FEMINISTIC IDEAS…..LOOOK FROM OUR EYES AS WE DO IN FROM UR EYES SOME TIMES…. STAND IN OUR SHOE SOME TIMES…
67.
Arundathi | August 16, 2008 at 2:57 pm
@AKASH RAMAN
I’m unable to a) read all of what uve said and b) reply to all of what ive read of wat uve said.
Certain quick points in response
– THIS FORUM IS NOT ABOUT MEN VERSUS WOMEN. Please please get that straight.
– WE DO NOT WANT RAM-LIKE HUSBANDS. I do not want me or any of my friends to be asked to walk through fire to prove our fidelity to our beloved husbands.
– As a woman, I do not want to be taken care of by any man. I want to live in a world in which it is unnecessary for anyone to be taken care of by virtue of the sex of the person.
– I really do appreciate the efforts u have taken in typing out so much about what men think, etc. but if a woman is telling you outright that she feels violated and sexually harassed, there is a problem. PERIOD. You have no right to ask her not to feel that particular way. It is only our duty – as a society (BOTH MEN AND WOMEN) to take steps towards ensuring that such violation of human dignity is minimized of not erased.
68.
Arundathi | August 16, 2008 at 2:58 pm
@ shall I reveal
-Please reveal
-to me it seems that your using this forum to vent out your personal anger. I’m sorry, but that is a pity. Kindly respect the forum. Avoid labelling people as a particular breed, etc. None of us really wish to know what the priority list is – I see all of us as responsible for the situation which we are in. Hence, we all need to take a collective step towards unlearning thoughts and structures in our minds deal with what we find as a result of which.
@ Varun (HRM)
– Your only adding fuel to the fire by fighting back with ‘shall I reveal’. I mean, why would you talk about what you and your friends did behind closed doors after getting drunk if you now claim that it none of our business. I do understand certain comments could disturb/ruffle your feathers but please, I request you as well to respect the forum and not create an un-needed scene. This space is not created for persons to compete about who is a better human being. Please acknowledge that. Lets not make laughing stocks of ourselves (reference –concernedperson, August 15, 2008 at 1:38 pm, https://tisstalks.wordpress.com/2008/08/01/hello-world/#comments)
69.
rahul | August 16, 2008 at 4:09 pm
why there is a sudden requirement of decency from people after all they have started
70.
rahul | August 16, 2008 at 4:12 pm
please no body takes all this personally, we r just expressing our views…this is nice forum that all paricipated in..now we got some meaning for the forum…
71.
arundathi87 | August 16, 2008 at 4:16 pm
@ Rahul
It is not about decency. It is about mutual respect. Just re-emphasizing the overall goal of TISSTalks.
72.
AKASH RAMAN | August 16, 2008 at 4:19 pm
STATUARY WARNING: FRIENDS I NEVER TOOK ANY DISCUSSION OR PERSON PERSONAL…ITS JUST U ADDED UR VIEW AND I ADDED MINE…NOT INTENDED AT ANY ONE.. IF ANYTHING SEEMS TO BE SIMILAR MIGHT BE ALL COINCIDENTAL.
HAVE A GOOD FUTURE TO ALL OF U.AND ALL THE BEST FOR U ALL FRIENDS…..NJOY THE COLLEGE LIFE..ONLY ONCE IN A LIFE TIME CHANCE.
GOOD BYE
73.
Varun (HRM) | August 16, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Well, seems like all hell has broken loose when we were busy crying our throats hoarse at the QueerAzaadi Rally..!!
@Arundhati
In my defence, my integrity was being questioned on the “round of drinks” comment and I had to explain..I dont think “shall I reveal” took it personal and I respect his/her views that on some level I may be as destructive as Akash..!!
Yes, I am making all efforts possible to make it as impersonal as possible, but sometimes it shall not make any sense if I keep it de-humanised..!!
74.
Varun (HRM) | August 16, 2008 at 5:16 pm
I guess now we should move on to the isse raised by Anurima, this issue has been the focus topic of the website http://www.change.org, something we all should be part of….lets all read about this and try to make something out of it..!!!
75.
TOBEHONEST | August 17, 2008 at 9:56 pm
there is nothing to discuss about that!!….that judge is crazy and stupid….sitting here u and me cant do anything about something wrong in that guys head and in the heads of the guys who put that guy there…only thing is we can just pray that whatever wire is loose automatically gets repaired!!…..and god save other women who bring sexual haraasment cases before this fellow!!….it is time we got to discussing other more pressing issues like how religion is often a constraint to peoples accepting things like homosexuality etc!!….isnt that something worth discussing….even in campus people are sometimes not willing to come out in the activict mode on these issues….just because they are part of a religion that opposes something that goes against gods will…why speak about russia when u can speak about something as close as ur faith and how it impacts how u approach specific issues??….
76.
shall i reveal? | August 18, 2008 at 1:53 am
@ VARUN n ARUNDHATI n et al….i never took anything personal…well i sensed some kinda pseudo comments,,n tried to bring in the fore-front…well if any body has made any comments here..i feel responsible to bring it in fore front..and even more when such comments mean diametrically opposite in nature..so guys no personal touch here no venting of anger…VARUN please anlyse yourself…u need clarify yourself to me or Arundhati or for that matter to anyone here…just analyse urself and be wot u r….and sorry for comparing your views from different blogs..i sudnt have done that…I SHOULD NOT HAVE REVEALED..or actually have done it
77.
shall i reveal? | August 18, 2008 at 2:01 am
@ Akash Raman…you are explaining yourself or giving STATUTORY WARNING…intersting…SMOKING IS INJUROUS TO HEALTH AS IT IS COMMENTING ON MY VIEWS…chill it boss!
78.
shall i reveal? | August 18, 2008 at 2:07 am
@ Arundhati….i agree to your suggestion…and re-emphasizing the overall goal of TISSTalks i.e. mutual respect and open discussion on burning issues…..also would look forward to the views of you and your friends on the entire debate…i fail to see their comments or thinking..they all vanished from the radar after posting it….or was it you who have posted it and was good friend enough to include their names …see i know i m jumping to conclusions..yes I M…but i m also eager to know their views too…they should also put in their views after receiveing th elargest number of responses ever in TISStalks!
79.
Sanjana | August 18, 2008 at 7:28 am
^
A large reason why many of us are not commenting is because we did not want to be seen as though we were influencing the flow of discussion through the comments…rest assured we are all very much a part of TISSTalks, and have been following the blog and the discussions closely. At the same time, we do not want to make it only about us and therefore have taken a step back, leaving the floor open to everyone in campus.
80.
Varun (HRM) | August 18, 2008 at 7:52 am
@shall I reveal
Kindly let me know what issue do you want me to clarify my stand on ?
If it was on the “round of drinks” comment, as said earlier, what I said is not what I supported or condoned….I just said what my buddies thought and the comment was not that relatively relevant ( in hindsight, I would have avoided that comment ).
Is there any other place where you want me to clarify my position ?
Also, remember no one is God here..we all make mistakes and learn from them…if I made a mistake, which someone else made me realise, then what do I do ? Do I still stick to my stand ( ego ) or do I understand and change my stand ? I did the latter for which I got all the broomsticks..!!!
81.
Varun (HRM) | August 18, 2008 at 7:54 am
As for your suggestion about religion, it is a wonderful topic to discuss…why dont you write what you feel and mail it to tisstalks@gmail.com ? ( plz dont take this as patronizingly..!!)
82.
TOBEHONEST | August 18, 2008 at 6:13 pm
well i will be doing that!!..thanks for the interest!!!
83.
123 | August 22, 2008 at 5:56 pm
what happened to this place…suddenly everyone seems to have disappeared :-)…thats the problem….everythins a fad only for some time….:-)
84.
arundathi87 | August 24, 2008 at 11:46 pm
@123
Im glad u brought that up.
And it is very interesting that speaking of structural changes and manifestations of the same is so easily confused for ‘fad’.
One must understand and acknowledge that the pace at which changes take place IS SLOW. However, to confuse it with it being a ‘fad’, i personally think is rather funny and very superfiacial.
85.
Varun (HRM) | August 28, 2008 at 12:18 am
Unfortunately, we have got too much used to instant stuff….maggi in 2 minutes, an MBA in 1 year….sex at 14…..etc etc…..guess we have unlearnt the value of patience,…!!!!!
Changes cannot be brought in an instant when we are speaking in terms of society but needs a prolonged and untiring effort…!!
In fact, now its become a fad to call everything a “fad”..!!
86.
jayaprabha | October 1, 2011 at 12:44 am
hi girls and guys !! am the poet of ” LOOKS” which u are all discussing about. and girls am so happy that u own my poem. kudos to this young girls.
jayaprabha